I think the average couple in today's world has thought about divorce at least once during their marriage. And for some, divorce is a constant threat. For others, divorce feels like their only hope. Whether you have thought about divorce once or you think about it every day, this article gives ten good reasons NOT to divorce.
1. THE KIDS
The first reason is something we all know about and we all consider: the kids. Should you stay married for the children? Well, at least think about how it will affect them. You might get over it in time. They never will.They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When Mom and Dad go apart, and start living separate lives, a child's world is never the same, and they must navigate a new reality. For that boy or girl, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do "move on," but they are effected by it forever.
In fact, Judy Wallerstein, a well-known advocate of children of divorce, stated that even 25 years later, children of divorce were 40% less likely to marry. They had romantic problems so many years later after the divorce!
Another study, "The Effects of Divorce on America," found staggering correlations between problems in children and divorce. Divorce was linked to higher drug abuse, lower grades and higher suicide rates. These are only a couple of examples; there are have been many other studies done on this subject, as well.
Please don't think that these statistics are supposed to make anyone feel guilty, or worse about something that has already happened. Divorced parents and step parents (which I am one) all try to make the best of a difficult situation, but make no mistake, the kids are very much effected.
In my own life, both as a stepmom and as a teacher for at-risk teenagers, I have seen a lot of anger in kids of divorce. This can largely be attributed to the way children feel torn between the two people they love the most in the world: Mom and Dad, who now don't like each other very much. Just the fact of divorce is an ongoing conflict, even if there is no real squabbling going on, and causes division within the child.
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