Ten Reasons NOT to Get a DIVORCE (Episode 2)

Yesterday we started this series this is a continuation of the article TEN REASONS NOT TO GET A DIVORCE

2. CUSTODY

The next reason is very closely related to the first. It also deals with children. The number one reason was how it affected the lives of the children. The next one is intertwined with that, and it deals with how it will change the dynamics of your family.
One of the worst things about divorce, if children are involved, is a new dirty word you will become very familiar with: custody. You no longer have the children in your home, full-time, as you always have. You will be sharing time with those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements.
If you are the non-custodial parent, you can never get those hours back, and you will miss those children, guaranteed. I watched my husband go through it, and there is nothing like the pain of a Dad or Mom missing their child. Nothing. Walking away from a marriage because it's not what you wanted, can mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

 reason number one for not divorcing is the kids. It does hurt them. Period.
It is also important to realize that even the custodial parent loses out, because every other weekend, or every weekend, they go out, and you don't know what they are doing for those days, or hours. It's not that them being with your ex-spouse is necessarily bad, but most mothers like to know where their kids are, and how they are doing. Going into a custody situation changes that. You no longer have 24-hour access to your children, because you have to share that with your former mate. And that is a tough pill to swallow, no matter how you are. This is a very important consideration, and a reason that the effect of divorce is so profound.
Custody also means that your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood life, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences, and will have to adjust every time they go back and forth. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but emotionally, they are seldom easy and rarely painless.